happy rat's year. . .

new year?

the hell. what's so exciting about celebrating it..? most of us must be probably out of the house.. the people are happy, playing with firecrackers or whatever light makers are invented, some are eating. some are singing. some are drunk. some are playing. some are SLEEPING? maybe. but mostly must be enjoying. that's traditional. i can't change it.

well me.
i just stayed in my room with the lights out, i plugged the radio on for some desirable noise. i opened the window and looked at the pretty fireworks as they slowly vanish before my eyes. my new year celebration is best described as simple yet melancholic. our gates was locked. so obviously, we have no plans to go out. my mom and sib, are downstairs watching the tv for some countdown thingy. i was still upstairs. and when the short hand reached the number 12 on the clock, the noise outside became more outrageous, i feel like my ear's being pound. my sib called me and told me to jump, but i didn't coz i'm in bed already. it's just i don't feel the joy.
clock strikes to 1.
he asked me if i could call him.
i did.
i spoke to him and he spoke to me.
greeted me a happy new year, but i was speechless.
i can't even say anything.
he did most of the talking.
i wonder why i called him, even though i know i can't tell him a thing.
i think that phone call ended within 5 mins only.
i don't know what i am supposed to feel.
BLANK.

clock strikes to 2.
the texting fever continues.
suddenly, i felt groggy.
i closed my eyes and slept.

[change topic]

well, what i really wanna say is.
i am glad for finishing the precious year of 2007.

good or bad.
you were still there.
i am thankful that you became a part of my life.
you accepted me for who i was,
you corrected me and slapped me to reality.
realization takes place in myself.
i regret the things that was so so wrong.
i won't forget my memories this year.
i will lock them in my heart-shaped box for safekeeping.
it's still a part of who i am.
i know i'm gonna need all of this in the near future.
you all accompanied me through a year of joy, suffering and pain.
laughed with me so much that we can hardly breathe.
taught me how to love not only myself but also you.
you made feel alive even for a nanosecond.
you were there when i'm still crying at the middle of the night.
you treasured me even though i'm not worth to be treasured.
stole my pain away,
you had forgiven me even though i can't say sorry.
woke me up from right and wrong.
hugged me against them all.
protected me.
listened to my butt-cracking jokes that aren't funny at all.
made me smile for a while.
you lighten up my soul when i feel like i'm carrying the weight of the world
my friend,
i'm pertaining to you.

last year,
a lot of things changed.
positively and negatively.

this year,
can i be a better person?

questions need answers.
i think i'll have to wait T_T

sibs are pain!

tae..

alam niu b kung ganu ku kahate ang kptd q.. sobra sobra sobra na tlga..
d ku nga alam kung pano ako makakasurvive sa buhay habang anjan xa..
ampf.

panu kxe..
FEELING MATANDA.
at sobrang sama ng ugali. cnasabi q na xenyu..
akala mo xa ung nanay ng mama at papa ko.
kung makasigaw ke mama at papa, kala mo xa ung ngpapakaen..
gnun rin aman ako, pero mas MALALA xa.

at d lng yun,
she's taking control of my life!!!
at sobrang di ko na matiis yon!.
lahat nlng.. magmula sa mga kaibigan ko, feeling close xa dun.. kinokomentan p nia sa frenster.. tinetex nia, kinakausap nia sa fone! ampf!! nakakabwisit na!!
at bastos pa! pg my kausap ako sa telepono, inaangat nia ung nasa taas tapos nakikinig xa.
ampf. maingay pa..
eh pg xa aman ung may kausap sa fone, di ku naman ginugulo.
ampf, nakakayamot!
tapos pg cnigawan ko.. xa pa tong magagalit. xa aman ung may mali. nyeta!
tpos magsusumbong aku nnmn ung lagot sa nanay namen..
kulang nalang tlga kunin nya ung mga address niu dahl sobrang pakielamera xa!!!
tatanda ako kagad grabe! MALOLOKA ako !!
cguru pag namatay aku, dahil sa kunsumisyon ko s knya!

lgue nlng sunod ng sunod kung san aku magpunta,
pag nasa kwarto aku, susundan ako, pag bababa ako, susunud p rin..

kulang nalang magsama kami sa banyo!!


ewan q ba kung bkt kelangan ko magkaroon ng kaptid na mas matanda pa skin ang pag-iisip!

ngaun mas malala, dhil mukang mahuhuli na nia na may bf ako, nagkukunchabahan p nmn cla ni papa, yari na ku pag nalaman pa nia tol!, eh lakas p aman mangblackmail nia, kpg may nakagawa akong kasalanan s knya blackmail kagad ako, ampf, napakatalinong bata. nakakainis na, sobra!!! gustu q na tlga magcollege, gustu q na malayo sa kptd kong saksakan ng pakilamera! T_T
ampf,

aun nailabas din.

bye bye year of '07, a warm welcome to '08

throw yer calendars away.
coz it's the year of the rat.
hahha naalala q c IVEN.


i'll go back. and summarize everything.

what happend to me the year of 2007:

• i had my 1st suitor. :] he started courting March 11,2007. clear in my memories.
• i received my first ROSE on teh school fair.. :] and another one on valentines.
• i experienced shit from him. commonly known as PAIN.
• dad gave me a cellphone. my bestfriend. nokia 6300.
• i came to know the band paramore, flyleaf, secondhand serenade, and many more.
• probably a year of half-luck and half-jinx. i had chicken pox and SORE EYES. now that's a real pain in the neck.
• i flunked a test. *cheers*
• i had my first boyfriend.
• i had the happiest birthday celebration this year :]
• i went to MOA. :]
• i had to skip all tests from the 2nd unit. and that's a real butt ache. T_T
• i was very stubborn, i always go home late when i hang out with my friends.
• my first time to skate in the ice rink. :]
• total humiliations. unforgettable.
• improved guitar skills.
  
• i attempted suicide with teh scissor. haha, para namang kaya kung magpakadedo.

unforgettable dates..

march 11
april 30
july 14
aug 17
aug 27
dec 22
dec 25
july 22
feb 14
feb 9
dec 29


what i'm looking forward to this year.

• i'm gonna turn 16. so it means, i'll get driving lessons!! im so excited!!!!!!!
  
• i'm gonna do good at school now. i'm gonna beat you all! hahhaha!!!
• i should decide on what course i will take up for college.
• my JS prom night should be COOL! :

tatamad n q mgsulat..

call me when i'm sober .. T_T

should i let you fall?lose it all,so maybe you can remember yourself,can't keep believing, we're only deceiving ourselves and i'm SICK of the LIE!

do i look deceivable to be deceived?. in filipino. muka b kong madaling lokohin para maloko?
for Pete's fucking sake. T_T

wake me up!

waah, wala lng.
i don't really feel as myself these days.

sana mauntog n q.
wake me up in reality.
slap me if you have to.
ARGGHGHGHGH!!!

sweet FIFTEEN :]

no words can express my happiness.
this was the happiest birthday celebration i ever had :]

aww:3

well, let's start at the beginning of the day ..

i woke up, went down, and my granny greeted me.
i went near to our ''enormous'' christmas tree [i wish i can let you see it] and reached for my gift :]
i opened it.
and viola it's a LEVI's tee :]
and my granny also gave me a tee too :]

i told my mom i want to go to TriNoma
and wish granted.
we went there without any second thoughts!
hurray! :] sweet!

first stop.
we went to TIMEZONE! woo!
i was so addicted with the racing :]
i spent 300 for just playing.
hahha, that's a real pocket ache!

2nd stop.
after playing addictively at TIMEZONE.
our stomach rumbles for food.
it lead us to the PANCAKE HOUSE.
and the waitress there was so CUTE!
i love her. hahha!


3rd stop.
we met with my uncle there.
and he told me i could go shopping!!!
it was a free shopping spree!
i only bought 3 garments
that i think it's worth 900, all of it.

4th.
after the stressful shopping,
STARBUCKS!! here i come!
that was the first time i will drink something from starbucks!
i wanted something cold so they gave me a Mango Shake.

5th.
Mom had a meeting. we had no choice but to face the boredom.
i was thankful that i have my cellphone with me.
or else you will find me in my coffin with the reasons 'died because of boredom'.


bsta umuwi n kmi,
pagod na nga aku eh.
hahha!

it was about 11:55.
HE called :]

he said the sweetest words i could ever hear.
he told me i was his life.
that he can't live without me.
that he loves me very much
that he doesn't want to hurt me.
that he's serious.

there's a lot more, that's jailed on my memory.

i even cried. aww :3

i never cared what time is it.
i just wanted to talk to him.
i don't want to hang up.

2:30 AM.
he decided to hang up.

i told him i was happy.
happy because i talked to him and i heard his SWEEET voice.

i guess.
this was the greatest gift i received on my birthday even though it's december 23 already.
i can't explain the happiness i feel.
and that gift was from him :]

shut up coz i know myself better.

shut up coz i know myself better.

my mom always say 'kilala kita ynna' and it annoys me. i always know myself better than anyone. does she know how i take bath, does she know it when i tell her lies? does she know what's the color of the jeepney i ride in when i go to school? see.

well here's some useless facts i know about myself.
read with your eyes open. :]

- i forged almost all of my assignments, because sometimes i am rushing to go to school and i don't have time to let my mom sign it. but don't worry, that's not happening always, :]

- i hide lots of scars, because of my dreadful chicken pox. and those scars i had when i was still a kid.

- i attempted suicide, i attempted to cut with scissor, but it did not have any wounds, just a scar. it faded away :]

- i'm a cheater. haha, at school, i copy a lot. it was so different than my last year. oh i guess, i am easily influenced.

- i love the music of the piano, that's why i idolize evanescence, i love how amy lee plays the piano, it's soothing and it calms me.

- i have different mood swings.

- i used to keep a diary when i was grade 6, and all what is written there is all about my moments with my ''FIRST LOVE''.. and also there i kept the petals of the roses my shitty suitor gave me.

- i have a funny laugh. my friends laugh because of the way i laugh. haha.

- i always wanted to go to Hong Kong Disneyland *daydreams*

- i love blogging.

- i have lots of bestfriends. :]

- i took up swimming lessons when i was 12.

- i took up taekwondo lessons when i was 13. and i hated it :\
when i still under that stupid thing, i wake up in the morning with body aches.

- i am boastful, yes. and i have a high pride :]

- i am green-minded but i put it in place.

- my hair was frizzy that's why i had it treated.

- when i was playing Neopets, i always make banners for my guild and i even made a blinkie. :]

- i make my layouts myself [except this blog layout], i don't like getting from sites. i want to be original as any one can be. :]

- i own fake chucks.

- i love hayley williams, ronnie winter and lacey mosley.

- when i was a kid, my fave singer was alanis morisette.

- i was addicted to Barbie: Princess and The Pauper songs, still now :]

- i always believe that crying is a sign of being weak.

- i'm very immature.

- my first email address is cutiepiepink@yahoo.com. hahha! that was when i loved pink :]

step out of the class, yer LATE.

[ting ting ting]

snooze off.

pagdilat ko ng mata. awts 5:22 AM na pla! eh yan ang time na umaalis ako ng bahay papuntang paaralan, nagmadali na ko. pinaramis ko sa sarili ko na hnding-hindi na ko malalate, andame dame ko na kxeng late. ngaun p naman may patakaran na c mam na isusulat sa board ang pangalan mo pg late atska kung anung oras ka dumating.

"hnding-hindi ko masusulat ang apelyido ko sa blackboard na yan"
- sabi ko sa isip.

peru nkita ko na lng ang sarli ko knina, na kumuha ng chalk sa chalkbox at maingat kong inangat ang kamay ko para magsulat sa blackboard.

5] ESGUERRA 6:30

aku ang nahuli sa lahat, ako ang pinakalate. yamot tuloy, peru ok lng, di naman worth ang pgiging late para pabaksakin ang buong araw ko. sus umagang-umaga eh..

[change topic]

nung uwian, nagpunta kmi sa isang park para tumambay, on the way, auz ung daanan! may pababa, parang slide, para nga kming nakasakay sa roller coaster kht nasa tricycle lng kmi, aun nakarating din kmi sa park, matagal rin kming tumambay, kasu may nkta kming dlawa ng kaklase ko na parang may ngvividyo smin gamit ang cp nia, mejo natakot ako, peru nging calm din, sbi q nlng s knila 'bka naghahanap ng signal' kase impossible naman, napakalayo nia smin, kaya kung nagvividyo man xa magmumuka lng kming tuldok sa cp nia, kabado cla nung kinuwento namen. peru aku di na ku mxadong natakot, aalamin ko nlng kung anung kahihinatnan namen bukas.

minsan naiisip kong wala akong kwenta.

minsan naiisip kong wala akong kwenta..

bkt ? cguru napakababa lng ng tingin ko sa srili ko.
sbi nga nung kaklase ko
'may itsura ka nmn kaso mababa lng self-confidence mo'


tama xa. natatabunan kxe ako ng hiya. peru sa totoo lng walang hiya ako. feeling close nga ako sa mga taong d ko pa nmn ganon kaclose. hahha, hi aku na hi, alam ko super friendly ako. at sbi rin nila lague dw aku nakangiti. nakakaflatter kasu kulang pa rin para magboost ang confidence ko.

bkt nga ba mababa ang tingin ko sa srili ko.

-feeling ko kase wala akong talent.
-mxado akong nagpapaapekto sa sinasabi ng iba.
-feeling ko bobo ko.
-feeling ko panget ako kahit totoo naman tlga hahha
-feeling ko wala akong silbi sa mundo
-feeling ko lht ng gnagawa ko mali.
-feeling ko mababa pgtingin ng mga tao skin

ayan, mxado kasi akong pessimist. aware naman ako. pinipilit kong patunayan ang srili ko sa ibang tao, kasu hndi ko magawa, ewan ku ba kung bkt. eh aku pinanganak na tlga akong ngtataglay ng low self-esteem. mhrap baguhin pag sanay ka na. naiinis ako sa srili ko sa totoo lng, kasi im more than imperfect. parang nasa tugatog na ng pagiging imperfect. minsan gustu ku nang madedz at mabuhay ulit dhil gusto ko mabago lht, gustu ko magsimula sa umpisa, narerealize ku na ang mga pagkakamali ko at gustu kong ituwid. peru that's impossible. the only thing to do is live on. alam kong kaya ko pang pagbutihin, kasu ang tamad tamad ko lng kxe, andami dami ko nang pinanghihinayangan sa ngayon, naiinis ako dahil nagkachicken pox ako at d nakapagtake ng exam. naiinis aku dhil may ibinagsak akong test. naiinis ako dhil ngayong 3rd yr nangongopya na ko.
sa totoo lng ang laki na ng ipinagbago ko, cguro isa na rin XA sa dhilan. kpg nahahati na ang atensyon mo, mhrap na mag-focus sa isang bagay, peru alam ko nmn na kaya kong pagsabayin.

mnsan sa kakaisip nalang nito naiiyak ako, ewan ku ba kung bkt, lgi kong iniisip na kailangan kong patunayan ang srili ko sa iba, kasi parang wala silang tiwala sken eh. naiisip ko nlng mnsan cguru cnasabi nila ' ah c ynna? tanga-tanga yan ' .. panu kxe andame ko naring katangahan na ngawa sa harap ng ibang tao. what would i expect for them to say?

out of place ang mga naiisip ko noh. :]

tama bang mainis ka sa taong di mo nman close/di ka kilala/?

para sakin hndi. peru may kinaiinisan akong tao dahil sa nagawa nia. it's not right to judge peru di ko tlaga mapigilan eh.. e sa next school year mukang magiging kaklase ko xa, natatakot ako kxe baka sabhan nia kong plastik pag nalaman niang naiinis ako sa knya.

panu kxe ngng cla nung kybgan ko.. pft mahabang kwento.
kasu ang nakakainis lng xe nkipagbreak xa dun sa friend ko dhil dw di pa xa pinapayagang magkaBF tapos magpapaligaw xa sa iba. d b nakakainis tlga? xempre friend namen ung nasaktan nia, kaya natural lng na mainis ako. peru alam ko na may kanya-kanyang rason yang mga yan. kaya ayoko na ring mangealam. nirerespeto ko ung desisyon nya. dhil cnu ba naman ako para diktahan xa? e ni hnd nga kami magkakilala. atska isa pang dhilan kung bkt ako naiinis sa knya, e naiinis xa dun sa mga kaklase kong ex at ung may gusto dun sa kung san xa nagpapaligaw. gets? para un lang kinaiinisan na nia, ang babaw naman nia. feeling naman nia maganda xa [mganda nmn xa tlga DW, kasu di ako nagagandahan sa knya]. madalas nga nilang cnasabi na magkamuka dw kme. naiinis nga ako pg sinasabi nila un eh.

eh bkt ku nga bang mainis sa knya, problema naman nia un, hayy ginagawan ko lng ng problema ang sarili ko.

at eto pa, may naiinis raw samen.
panu kasi cmula nung magkakilala kmi nung barkada nila samen na dw sumasama. unang reaction ko nung nalaman ku na naiinis pla xa xamen eh nakokonxenxa ako dahil oo nga naman. parang gustu ku tuloy sabihan na samahan din nila ung naiwan nilang barkada kxe parang iniiwan nila sa ere. ayaw ko pa naman ng may naiinis sakin. kaya tinanong ko ung ktabi ko. sabi ko 'anung ggwin mo pag nalaman mong may naiinis sayu?' sabi naman nia 'hayaan mo, mapapagod din sila' ang galing ng payo noh. oo nga mapapagod din sila, di ko naman cla kailangang problemahin dahil cla ang may problema. ayt?

hayy pinag-sayangan ko nanaman ang isang post ng walang kwentang article. peru auz lng, atlis may nasulat.. hahha!

tipo ng estudyante [version koh]

tipo ng estudyante. (version ko)

sa isang classroom, may iba't ibang tipo ng estudyante.
isa-isahin naten.

1. Nerds - ang mga MATATALINO! di kompleto ang classroom kpag wala neto. sila ung mga taong walang inatupag kundi mag-aral at mag-aral nang mag-aral. pinoproblema nila ang mga mhihirap ng kweschons. kadalasan sila'y nakasuot ng naglalakihang salamin. madalas mag-recite. at yung iba madamot, ayaw magpakopya >_<.

2. Alaskador - ahem, di rin kumpleto ang classroom pag wala cla, cla ung mga ubod ng pang-asar. isinilang para mang-asar ng tao. mga masasayahin tong mga ito. di lang kapwa estudyante ang inaasar kung hndi pati titser. kaya kadalasan nakakaaway nila ang mga titser.

3. Beauty Queen - ui maganda ang mga ito. xempre hnd n ku yon. hahha! kadalasan campus crush at pati ibang section nagkakandarapang makilala xa. pambato sa mga beauty contests..

4. Hearthrob - ang mga pogi. opposite ng # 3.

5. Model ng pulbos - ang mga taong pumasok lng para magpulbos, magsuklay in short magpaganda at mgpapogi.. kahit oras ng klase, nakahawak pa rin sa mga salamin ito, ung iba naglalagay ng eyeliner at blush on. isama mo na ang lip gloss at lipstick.

6. Mentally Absent, Physically present - ang mga taong lumilipad ang utak habang nasa klase, walang kabalak-balak makinig sa teacher. kaya kapg tinawag ay walang maisagot.

7. Pasaway - ahem, madaming offense, kadalasan mkikita sa listahan ng noisy, standing, transferring seat. pinupino ang logbook ng kasalanan., nagdadala ng cp khit ipinagbabawal, naggagala ng nka-uniform. as in nilalabag lahat.

8. Simpleng Malibog - halos lht ng lalake, bihira sa babae. kung titignan mo ay inosente un pla ang madami pang alam na kabastusan kesa sayo.

9. Politicians - mga class officers. namamahala sa klase. kasu ang pinakaayoko jan ay ung mga treasurer. nangungurakot eh :[

10. Latecomers - laging center of attention dahil nahuhuling pumasok sa room.

11. Silayers - ang mga taong pumasok lng para sumilay sa crush, sira ang araw kpg hndi nila nkita.

12. Copy the answer - walang quiz or seatwork pati na rin homework na hndi xa nangopya, pati sa test nangongopya rin, hndi mo na rin namamalayan na mas mataas pa ang score na nkukuha nia kesa sayo.

13. Dirty Old Men - ang mga taong mukang di naliligo, o baka hndi tlga naliligo, nandidiri kau sa knya kaya wala xang friends, naamoy mo plang sa malayo na d xa nagdedeodorant, ang itsura ay muka tlang mabaho, gulo-gulo ang buhok at mahuhuli mo pang nangungulangot. minsan pa nga nagtututuli o kaya pag nakatulog at ginising mo, may laway pang rumaragasa.

14. Music Lovers - kadalasang maririnig mong kumakanta, khit anong genre ang kinakanta, parang may built-in na radio sa classroom nio, kapag nakausap mo halos banda ang pag-uusapan niu.

15. Takas sa mental - baliw for short, kung anu-anu pinag-sasabi, kung anu-anong kabaliwan ang alam.

16. Ordinaryo - typical students. nag-aaral, nangongopya, nagpapaganda, parang kombinasyon na rin ng lahat. :]